Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
don't judge my taste in strippers
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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