Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
The struggles of a small town man whore
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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