chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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