pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
this hospital has no fireball
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
