I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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