thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
she peed on how many people?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
