Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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