I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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