You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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