I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
