Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
This is my gift to your gina
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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