I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
handjob tips. give me some.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Randomize
