Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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