having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
