Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
