I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
