i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
