He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
