Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
