I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
