You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
