I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
My Higher Power is John Stamos
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
