areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
