That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
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