She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
