I just threw up on my dentist
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
