I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
