I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
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