wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
