WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
