I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Randomize