you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
