Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
