Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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