i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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