Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
P.S. I can't hear my feet
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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