I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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