I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
