you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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