Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
