he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
