I'm going to jail i love you
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
