I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
