he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
