Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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