I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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