Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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