they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
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What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
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Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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