I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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