My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
We had to coat check the pizza.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
