Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
