i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
