My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
