stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
