is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
