I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
