That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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