carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
