Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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