she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize