I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize