Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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