dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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