I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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