"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
