the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
