So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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