just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
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im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
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Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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