so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
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I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
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It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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