My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
My penis needs a shock collar
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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